Monday, February 2, 2009

Everything you ever wanted to know about the credit crunch but were too afraid to ask.

Although this blog is mainly about photography I got sent this and thought it was simply too funny not to share.
Here follows everything you wanted to know about the credit crunch but were always too afraid to ask.

Q: With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest way to make a small fortune?
A: Start off with a large one.

Q: What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

I went to the ATM this morning and it said "insufficient funds".
I'm wondering is it them or me.

Q: What's the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons?
A: The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW's.

Q: What have Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker got in common?
A: They both have frozen assets.

You know it's a credit crunch when…

1. The cash point asks if you can spare any change.
2. There's a 'buy one, get one free' offer - on banks.
3. The IRS is offering a 25 per cent discount for cash-payers.
4. UK Prime minister Gordon Brown has stopped chewing his nails and started sucking his thumb.
5. Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than US dollars.

Q: What's the capital of Iceland?
A: About $3.50.

Uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last seven days, Origami bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank has announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was also announced that Karaoke Bank will go up for sale and will likely go for a song, while shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended today after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on after sharp cutbacks, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Q: What's the difference between an American and a Zimbabwean?
A: In a few weeks, nothing.

Q: George Bush was asked today "what did he think of the Credit Crunch?"
A: He replied: "It was his favourite Candy Bar."


OrelleJ said...

That is hilarious. Its good to start my day with a laugh. We have to try and find some levity in this crazy situation!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha, this is bloody awesome.